During the 2014-2015 school year I was back in college as a non-traditional student. While in school I was accepted into a leadership certification program that was a year long course. We had many leaders within the community come to our class to speak about the many different applications of being a leader. On one such day a man who was an alumni of the college, and who had become the head of the transportation department, came to share many of his stories of leadership and pearls of wisdom he picked up along the way. I decided to take notes on this day, I’m not much of a note taker, but I felt compelled to write down what inspired me about this man who was closer to my age than my fellow classmates. Below is the list I made on what the topic of that day was, management. Specifically, how to be good at management.
Disclaimer: this is a mock post, don’t do any of the stunts you’re about to read. It really is sad that I have to give a disclaimer!
Management
To be a successful manager one must:
1. Instill fear.
2. Be flexible enough to drive a forklift but never drive one after 5pm.
3. Don’t multitask shittily!
4. Always confront interviewees if you dig up dirt on them before the interview.
5. Always dig up dirt on new potential employees before the interview.
6. To be respected and believable, always cuss. Being emotional and throwing things helps.
7. In order to retire you must be able to keep people in check and also go bat-shit crazy on them; find the balance.
8. Maybe don’t sexually harass someone at work.
9. Hire someone based on feels.
If no one in your world makes you laugh, then damnit, make yourself laugh! Our lives are so brief, laugh as much as you can.