I have developed a theory from watching the men in my life: I believe boys are taught that their responsibility in life is to have a family, a home, and a job; with emphasis being on the job and the monetary value that produces. What I have seen is men taking up their job, working hard to support themselves and their family, coming home, and clocking out. Their responsibility is over when they leave the place of work. I see the mom, or wife, who works, or is a stay-at-home-mom, who takes care of everything at the home. She keeps the clothes clean and put away, the house clean, kitchen full of food, meals prepared and cooked, cars maintained, pets and children kept alive while thriving, bills paid, all school activities/doctor appointments in order and on the calendar, and all the necessities of the home met. Then the husband comes home and puts on the t.v. I know several fathers who never changed their child’s diaper. That is ludicrous! I have seen the mom who prepped holiday meals, cleaned the house, wrapped presents, took care of a shredded tire, planned outings for the family, took care of the child, then at the end of the day asked her husband to help her by giving their child and bath and he proceeded to watch the basketball game.
Men, it’s time to wake up! Your life responsibility does not end with your work shift. Your life responsibility is taking care of yourself AND your family. What does that mean? That means you keep yourself healthy with nourishing foods, getting physical activity, and good quality rest. That’s for you. What’s next is just as important: engage with your family. Ask your spouse if they need any help, ask them if they need some love. Get on the floor and play with your child, read them a story, tell them a good memory from your childhood. Help your child in the bathroom, help them get ready for bed. The responsibility in your home is not the same as the responsibility at your work. Take a look at the differences between your job and your home. It involves different people, a different environment (even if you work from home), different demands, and most certainly, different payoffs.
Do you only associate value to that which is tangible? Does the value of your life lie in how much money you make or have, the type of car you own, or the look of your home? All of these things have no true value. Your health and your family are your gold. The difference with this gold is that it will love you back. Paper money does not love you, the title of your job does not love you, the objects you fill your home with do not love you. Take the responsibility of love seriously. Oh, you never had that as a kid growing up, you say? Why in the hell do you want to continue the that type of living then? You are not your parents, you are completely capable of thinking for yourself, changing your behavior and the way you live with your family. Be the parent to your child your parents weren’t for you. Be the opposite. You will find at the end of your life that your kids won’t be available for you when you need them. Is this truly what you want with your life?
If you are ever unhappy at home, YOU must change the way YOU view the worth of the people in your life. Or prepare to become broke.
Very well said jennifer. I 100% agree!
This is, exactly, why I left in addition to other issues. I hear so many of my female friends complain about this. Not all men, but a lot of them have “checked out” and their families suffer. I am lucky to know a few good men who continue to be involved and want to be involved. That’s my standard for a good man, now.
Why is it that men don’t have to be told what to do at their jobs but at home they have no clue what to do and have to be told/asked to do the simplest, most common sense stuff? Even when its about having a relationship with their family? This is a call to all you young mothers out there that it is your responsibility to train your children how to be a responsible adult!